Oh McAfee, you're so kind and loving...

taylor · Tue Feb 24, 2009 4:23 pm

We got this email at the office from the lovely people at McAfee, which, for those not in the know, has got to be the absolute worst, slowest, resource hog of an underwhelming virus protection program suite in existence. Google some McAfee reviews, you'll see. This is the email:


	Quote: Dear McAfee Customer; We at McAfee are working constantly to improve our security solutions and processes in order to make it easier for you to protect your company’s valuable assets. We rely on input from customers such as yourself. We feel that only through the opinions of our customers can we be the most effective in accomplishing our goal. Therefore, we need your input for an easy online survey to help us better meet your security needs. The survey should take no more than 10-12 minutes to complete. Please know that your opinions will be kept strictly confidential and will only be reported in combination with responses from others in our study. Click here to begin. http://www.execplatform.net/s.r4a?d=18900671&k=ruzbgy Thank you in advance for your assistance on this survey. Marc Olesen Sr Vice President & General Manager - SaaS Business Unit McAfee, Inc. If you have any questions or concerns about the study, please feel free contact our global market research director: Caroline Kuipers Global Market Research Director caroline_kuipers@mcafee.com

This is how that email should have read:

"Dear Tiny Consumer,

Here at McAfee we know that whatever PC you purchase, our bloated and under-performing virus "detection" software will already come pre-loaded on it. We don't have the time to read and/or address any of your would-be complaints, nor could we be bothered to address them even if we did. But, just because we're getting tired of watching you run away and install FREE programs that ACTUALLY work without making your computer run like an asthmatic tree sloth after a four-day-bender, please feel free to type out all of your pitiful and meaningless complaints and suggestions at this very much unattended website we have so magnanimously provided for you. Maybe all you need is a little catharsis.

Deepest love and best wishes,
McAfee, inc.

ps: Please be aware that after you have taken the survey and filled in the suggestion form, by pressing "submit", you understand that your suggestions/complaints will be not be read or addressed in any way, shape, form or fashion and will be deleted from your computer, from our website, and from the historical record of life on this planet forever and in perpetuity.

McAfee....pfffft. :roll:

Oh McAfee, you're so kind and loving...

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